There are no words for starting again. You just gain the courage to begin again. To try what you put down because the calling is still in your heart and the need to do the work is still in your head.
Since my last blog post in early 2018, a lot has happened. I traveled to Greece, lost someone close to me, and worked on my fear of the dentist. It was a productive year for the latter. Today, I jump back on the blog because in attempting to write my third book I find I have nothing new to say, nothing original to bring to the conversation that will fill up a book but I still want to write and get better at doing so.
My resignation to social media overcame me last week. I deleted the Instagram app from my phone. Before you start cheering and paying for land to erect a statue in my name, you should know that I have deleted Instagram from my phone many times, the struggle is real. What I have found, its a hindrance to my thinking life. I log off to gain perspective, to take back my time, and to find time to just sit with my thoughts like today.
I am 31, turning 32 in March. Not that you care, but I think I should just put it out there because I am like you, getting older. I find myself reckoning with my age like never before. You don't feel the effects of aging all at once. You start to get old gradually, my knees tingle in the morning, and I am not sure what that is the onset of. Do you?
My husband is still curious and gracious in the way he moves through life. He allows me to follow my dreams and does not make a fuss when I wake him up at 5am because I am up. He does not seem to care about my hair on the bathroom floor or the fact that dancing is my love langurage. He lets me be crazy, and I guess that is a good thing.
I think about the state of the world more now than ever now. Technology, people, individual desires, our contradictions & the future. Technology interests me because last week, like a slap in the face, I finally understood why it's important, like why the internet matters. As a minority in America, I hear about the stories of the past and what limited access my ancestors had to resources. Today, the power of the internet is that if I am willing to give, be authentic, surprise, build trust, I can form relationships that can change my entire life. No middle man. The conversations are facilitated online, millions of people to meet and engage. WOW! The internet is actually amazing in that sense.
I have a "social good project" coming up this week; cookies, punch and bingo with the elderly. The highlight of my week. Really!